chapter/ day 12

Dear journal,

I didn’t get good news today. Actually it was very bad news I wish I couldn’t have gotten. When Finny fell in the hallway he had broken his leg again. We weren’t allowed to see him for a while. I got a note today to bring his Finny’s things to the infirmary. Finny told me he believes in the war now. Since Finny found out about what really happened that day when he fell off of the limb he’s mad. He is mad but he accepts it and doesn’t get mad at me and I’m really happy about that. I just wanted to stay friends with him but I was worried on how he was going to feel about the entire situation. “After lunch I walked back to the dormitory with Brinker” (Gene, pg 184) I have been spending more time with Brinker now that Finny is back in the hospital. I just got the worst news and I don’t know what to do. I just went to visit Finny and the doctors told me he had died. Bone marrow had gotten into his blood stream and stopped his heart. He was my best friend. I don’t cry at the funeral or anything. I think this is because since he was so close to me I feel like a part of me is dead, and dead people don’t cry.
         
  
 

chapter/day 11

Dear journal,

"When I got back i found him in the middle of a snowball fight in a place called the Fields beyond." (Gene, pg 144) Finny finally admitted to me today that he believes in the war because when Leper came back he was crazy and now he has something to look at and know its true. He didn’t want to believe it before because he was injured and wouldn’t be able to enlist because he wouldn’t get accepted. Brinker thinks I won’t enlist because he feels pity for Finny and he’s a coward. He led me into the school today and questioned me and Finny on what happened at the tree. He accused me of pushing Finny out of the tree. Finny didn’t have a good reaction towards my accusation.  He was mad and upset. He also didn’t believe Brinker. Since he was mad he ran out of the room. Finny was still injured from the tree incident and wasn’t supposed to run. Since he did he fell and hurt himself on the floor outside of the room and hurt himself pretty bad. He had to go to the hospital.  I hope he ends up being okay.

chapter/day nine

Dear journal,

Today I found out that Leper has decided to enlist in the war. He changed his mind out of no where.  
“No real war could draw Leper voluntarily away from his snails and beaver dams.” (Gene, pg 115)  I was shocked when I found this out because I never thought anything was going to pull him away from what he likes doing. He enlisted because he always thought the war would come for him. I don’t think this is a good reason for him to go into something he doesn’t want to be in. I was worried about how Leper was going to be in the war and how he was going to be when he gets out of it. I hope it doesn’t mess him up too much. Finny and I were training for the Olympics of 1944. I didn’t like the dreary weather today but Finny enjoyed any weather. Finny imprinted a start on his cast today too. It looks cool. I deserted his enlistment plan today. He stopped writing his newspaper column. We decided to try and put together a winter carnival for everyone because we figured it would be a lot of fun and a good thing for our school to do.

chapter/day eight

Dear journal,

Yesterday when Finny and I were outside and I saw him reach for his crutches I didn’t think much of it. I was used to seeing him on them from last year when he broke his ankle. The only difference is this accident was my fault. I started saying prayers again because Finny was back. I felt like he needed them because I wanted him to be okay and maybe god could help him. “What is all this crap about no maids!”(Phineas, pg 97) is what I woke up to this morning. I feel bad that Finny can’t do anything himself anymore and needs help for everything. Brinker ran into my room today and when he saw that Finny was back he got extremely excited. Brinker wanted to know if I wanted to enlist today and Finny was not very happy about that. He didn’t want me to enlist because he didn’t believe in the war and didn’t want me to be a part of it. He was actually very shocked that I was going to. I will never forget the way Finny’s face was when he thought I was leaving him on his first day back with us. The architecture at our school wasn’t like a normal school either. It was pink marble and had things such as chandeliers. I like that our school isn’t like every other.  

chapter/day 7

Dear journal,

Brinker had come over to see me today after i took a shower to wash of the Naguamsett River. “I washed the traces off me and then put on a pair of chocolate brown slacks, a pair which Phineas had been particularly critical of when he wasn’t wearing them…” (Gene, pg 78) Finny only liked my clothes when he was wearing them but if I was it was a different story. When Brinker cam over we had went into the Butt room. This room is where everyone would go to smoke. Today, I realized how Leper and Finny both feel about the war. Finny doesn’t like it at all; in fact he doesn’t think it’s real. He thinks that everything that goes on in the war is made up and like a role play. Leper happens to like the war though. I guess he thinks it’s a good thing so him and Finny don’t get along when it comes to that. We don’t usually speak too much about the war but today we were. I however, want to join and be part of the war. I think it would be a good thing for me and maybe even for Finny too.

chapter/day three

Dear journal, i tried blaming Finny for saving my life today. I mean, it was his fault I was up there on that limb anyways. I guess im jealous of Finny. I always have been but i would never admit that to anyone. Im also a bit insecure. I dont like Finny's attitude towards sports. He doesnt realize the bad aspects of them. When we play blitzkrieg Finny always changed the rules because he made up the game. The sport is extremely aggresive and we played with a big medicine ball. I realized that finny can be described like the weather. Hes unpredictable like it. You never know how hes going to act and the weather always changes. The only thing about Finny that doesnt change is sports. Hes good at every single one he plays. Finny also beat the swimming record today. He didnt want to tell anyone about it though because he wasnt a swimmer and he didnt want to brag. He told me that I was his bestfriend today when we went to the beach. I guess thats not a good thing concidering i have a secret rivalry against him. Im not a very loyal friend right now.

chapter/day six

Dear journal,

The Summer Session was over but the Winter Session wasn’t but the Winter Session was less lively.  A few of us met up for it today. “I knew, perhaps I alone knew, that this was false. Devon had slipped through their fingers during the warm overlooked months.” (Gene, page 65) During the summer everyone let everything go and the traditions were broken and the rules had been forgotten. It was the beginning of winter and everything had a sharp, biting coldness to everything. I went to see Brinker today but then I decided I did not want to see the things Leper has left behind so I decided not to which made me late to my afternoon classes. I also went to the river and it reminded me of Finny. There was another river right near it but we never went to this river. It was called the Naguamsett. I got a job as an Assistant Crew Manager today. This job was usually for the disabled. Quackenbush wasn’t always the nicest man because he hasn’t been liked since he came to the Devon school. We didn’t get along very well either. Me and him got into a fight today when I was defending Finny. When Finny asked me about sports I told him I was to busy to protect him.

                                                    

chapter/day five

Dear journal,

“None of us was allowed near the infirmary during the next days, but I heard all the rumors that came out of it.” (Gene, page 53) I found out that he shattered his leg today. I didn’t know exactly what they meant by “shattered” but I didn’t ask anything because I didn’t want to know the answers. I knew this was my fault but I didn’t want to admit that. I didn’t go down to dinner today either. Instead, I put on clothes of Finny’s and I felt good but when I looked at myself I felt as if I was Phineas. This morning I found out that Finny was better and I got so happy! I also got to visit him today but on the way to the doctors I heard bad news. The doctor told me that Finny cannot do sports ever again. Finny wasn’t doing that bad. I couldn’t control what I said and I asked Finny how he fell because I didn’t want to believe it was my fault. He told me he just lost his balance and fell. Finny seemed better than I did and he was more accepting than I was. The Summer Session had closed and Finny was brought to his home in Boston. I went to visit him today and when I tried to tell him it was my fault and he told me to leave, so I did.  

chapter/day four

Dear journal,

I woke up at dawn today. Finny was still sleeping so I tried to go back to bed but I couldn’t fall asleep so instead I lay watching the sky. “The ocean looked dead too, dead gray waves hissing mordantly along the beach, which was gray and dead looking itself.” (Gene, page 41) Everything was slow and calm, I could tell by the sky and the ocean that it was about 6:30 in the morning. When Finny woke up we decided to go for a swim. After we had lunch we played a game of blitzball and after dinner we had a meeting with the Super Society of the Summer Session with everyone. Finny said he has to waste my time today because he knows I want to be head of the class. He doesn’t want me to be though. I think Finny’s trying to hurt my studies. When we went to the tree again Finny wanted to jump side by side with me. I think I made a mistake today though. When me and Finny were on the limp I shook the limb and Finny fell and got hurt. I feel like I’m responsible for this and I feel terrible about it. I hope he ends up being okay.  

             

chapter/day two

                                       

Dear journal,

              When I didn’t go to dinner today Mr. Prud’homme had noticed. He enforced rules and one of them was missing dinner. When he had came to talk to us “We had been swimming in the river” Finny explained ; “then there had been a wrestling match, then there was a sunset that anybody would want to watch, then there’d been several friends we had to see…”(Finny, page 14) Finny knew how to sweet talk everyone. He convinced Mr. Prud’homme that he was sorry about missing dinner and we didn’t get punished. Sometimes this annoyed me about Finny. He knew just how to convince someone that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. However, the faculty at the school had enjoyed us. Although we were careless and wild, we reminded them of what peace was. “Phineas was the essence of this careless peace.” (Gene, page 17) It wasn’t that Finny was unconcerned about the war he just wasn’t totally interested in it. They were teaching them about the war but the still managed to show them what peace was. Finny also didn’t care about what other thought because he could talk his way out of everything. He wore a pink shirt from his mother as an emblem. He wore this pink shirt and the school tie as a belt to school and when the principle had tried yelling at him about it, he talked him out of it. He always does.

                              

Chapter/Day one

Dear journal ,

                    I went back to the Devon school today. It was different than I remembered it. It looked newer and shinier. I haven’t been here for fifteen years and it looks more like a museum now. “I had always felt that the Devon school came into existence the day I entered it, was vibrantly real while I was a student there and then blinked out like a candle the day I left” (Gene, pg 1) I feel like when I left this school it burned out because I brought so much to it. When I left this school I was scared and I didn’t come back for fifteen years because I was escaping from my fears. There were a few other things I had to face while I was here. I went to the marble foyer and stood at the stairs. I had over looked what had happened here years before which had surprised me. Another place I had gone to was the tree. The field I had to walk through to get there was wet and muddy but I didn’t notice until I was half way there. When I got to the tree I started reminiscing about what happened that day at the tree. It was not a good feeling to have so I left.