chapter/day five

Dear journal,

“None of us was allowed near the infirmary during the next days, but I heard all the rumors that came out of it.” (Gene, page 53) I found out that he shattered his leg today. I didn’t know exactly what they meant by “shattered” but I didn’t ask anything because I didn’t want to know the answers. I knew this was my fault but I didn’t want to admit that. I didn’t go down to dinner today either. Instead, I put on clothes of Finny’s and I felt good but when I looked at myself I felt as if I was Phineas. This morning I found out that Finny was better and I got so happy! I also got to visit him today but on the way to the doctors I heard bad news. The doctor told me that Finny cannot do sports ever again. Finny wasn’t doing that bad. I couldn’t control what I said and I asked Finny how he fell because I didn’t want to believe it was my fault. He told me he just lost his balance and fell. Finny seemed better than I did and he was more accepting than I was. The Summer Session had closed and Finny was brought to his home in Boston. I went to visit him today and when I tried to tell him it was my fault and he told me to leave, so I did.